Under the Overpass

As some of you might recall, I used portions of this book in an earlier post titled Love Your Neighbor. This hit one or two of the points that are covered in this book but did not get anywhere close to the variety and depth of the subjects in this book.

This book, titled Under the Overpass, if you couldn't tell by my title, was written by Mike Yankoski, sort of "journal style". It is a journal of his life on the streets. Now you might wonder how a homeless person could write a book and get it published. Well, Mike wasn't exactly homeless in the complete sense of the word. He was attending college, going to a nice church, when he realised that he wasn't reaching out with Christ's word to those who are ignored most of the time. So he came up with a plan, asked friends, pastors, etc, and started his journey with his friend, Sam.

Him and Sam first went to two separate homeless shelters and spent almost a month there, learning what it was going to be like and starting to toughen up. They then proceeded to travel through Denver, Washington D.C., Portland, San Francisco, Phoenix, and San diego spending considerable time in each location to get the feel of it. This is an amazing book touching some issues that aren't thought of by most people.

In the conclusion of the book, he talks about what it is like to step back into his world of comforts, some things that have changed about his perception of the world, and other points and details of how even his everyday life was changed. I highly recommend this book.

Jokes

Here are a few excerpts from the result of a scientific study of jokes. You can find some more of the material at the site here.

After much careful scrutiny, we are proud to announce our winning joke. This joke received higher ratings than any other gag.
Drum roll…..

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"


In second place came the joke that was leading the pack when we announced our preliminary results in December:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent"


Here are some of the top jokes in different countries:

Top joke in UK

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

Top joke in USA

The American data proved to be somewhat strange. Dave Barry is a well known humourist whose columns are syndicated in many American newspapers. In January 2002 he kindly devoted an entire column to LaughLab. At the end of the column he urged readers to submit jokes that simply ended with the punch line:
‘There's a weasel chomping on my privates.’

Within just a few days we had received over 1500 ‘weasel chomping’ jokes.

One weasel joke scored very highly in the USA and almost became the funniest joke in America. Here it is:

At the parade, the Colonel noticed something unusual going on and asked the Major: “Major Barry, what the devil's wrong with Sergeant Jones’ platoon? They seem to be all twitching and jumping about.”
“Well sir,” says Major Barry after a moment of observation. “There seems to be a weasel chomping on his privates.”

However, ignoring the weasels, the top American joke was…

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Top joke in Canada

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

Top joke in Australia

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”

Top joke in Belgium

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Top joke in Germany

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.”


A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said "its no good trying to outrun it, its catching up". The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied " I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to out run you"!


We also asked participants from the UK to tell us whether they were from Wales, Scotland, England or Northern Ireland. Our data has revealed that the Welsh found the jokes funniest, followed by the English, then people from Northern Ireland and then the Scots.

Here are the top jokes from the regions.

Top Joke in England

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other says, "Go home dad you’re drunk."

Top Joke in Wales

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."

Top Joke in Scotland

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

Top Joke in Northern Ireland

A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.

If you know a really good joke, please tell it, as some of the above are really not that funny.

P.S. If somebody knows how to put a song in a post or some doodad similar to the afore-mentioned gadget of audio-ness the afore posting person would be much obliged to said providing party. (The author of this blog has recently realized how fun 'tis to speak in starnge terms and/or sentecne structure such as some previous sentence(s) has done)

What we deserve

I don't know about you, but I often find myself thinking that I shouldn't have to do as much as I do. I think I work for most of the day on most days, I deserve a break. But is that really what I deserve?

This line of thought isn't wrong in secular view, because, after all, doesn't everyone think that occasionally?, I mean, we're only human, right? Exactly. We're only human. That really sums it up. In a universe created by a loving, merciful, just, omnipotent, omnipresent God, we're only human. We were created perfect in a perfect world, we sinned, we fell, and now the world is literally falling apart.

Some people think that by shutting themselves off from the rest of the world, they can create a utopia. Guess what, they're wrong. Some scientists think that they can creat an artificial, self-sustaining, stand alone ecology. Guess what, they're wrong too. It's time that we realize we're only human. We are imperfect, sinful, twisted reflections of God. But we are not God. We were given the entire world by Him and we have proceeded to warp it into a poor reflection of its original glory.

What do we deserve? We don't deserve free time, we don't deserve pleasure, we don't deserve world peace. What we deserve is something we don't like to think about. We deserve punishment, we deserve death, we deserve eternal torment. Fortunately, God has given us a way to bypass what we deserve. He has taken all of our sins and foulness and laid it on Christ, his son. He has made a terrible sacrifice on behalf of the disgusting fallen creatures we call humans. He has set heaven before us, will we accept it?

Jekyll and Hyde

After reading Him and Mobius's poem, I was reminded of the lyrics to a song on one of our Petra CDs (by the way they're an awesome band). The song's name is "Jekyll and Hyde" on the CD with the same name and the lyrics are pretty self explanatory.

I have a secret that I let nobody see
An evil shadow that's been hanging over me
My alter ego that I try to hold at bay
But despite my good intentions he can always get away

He does the things that I don't want to do

Sometimes I feel like Jekyll and Hyde
Two men are fighting a war inside

I have this secret that I let nobody see
It's like a split personality
And the one I feed is the one who lives
The one I starve will be the one who gives

He won't do things that I know I should do

Sometimes I feel like Jekyll and Hyde
Two men are fighting a war inside
One gives, one takes, I have to decide
Sometimes I feel like Jekyll and Hyde

I need somebody to rescue me
When personalities clash
I know which person I want to be
With no defiance
Just God-reliance

© 2003 Inpop Records
Lyrics obtained from Christianrocklyrics.com.

I don't know about any of you but I can really relate to this song. Let me know what you guyses thinks. I may also be posting more of their lyrics in the future, and maybe even some songs if I can figure out that process.

A poem of life

Life’s purpose is not of this world, of this life
Our soul will remain through our passing last breath
Pleasure is not the aim of our mortal strife
For while we live, we are moving toward death

Life does not last forever, the end is nearing
Don’t sleep through life, our time of action
Don’t wait for tomorrow perchance not appearing
Don’t hold to the past for it is gone

Rather live in the present, the here and the now
Acting according to heart and to God
Be great have an impact, don’t live like a cow
Be a beacon for those in the future downtrod

Give hope to the hopeless, give life to the dead
Live life to its fullest, with God as your head

Parents and God

Recently at our youth group we studied three passages together that don't seem to go together at first glance. However, looking at context and specific parts of these passages shows the relationship. Not only the relationship between them, but the relationships between us, our parents, and God.

The passages we studied were:

Exodus 20:12
Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

Proverbs 1:8-9
Hear, my son, your father's instruction
And do not forsake your mother's teaching;
Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head
And ornaments about your neck.

here's the weird one...

Mathew 10:34-37 (Jesus speaking)
Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's enemies will be the members of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.

What does he mean by that? Is the Bible contradicting itself? How can we honor our father and mother at the same time that we are turned against them?

The problem with this passage does not exist; the problem in our conception of this passage is where the inconsistency lies. The first two are pretty straight-forward, summed up, honor and obey your father and mother. However, the last one is slightly more difficult.

We are automatically drawn toward the middle of the passage, turning on our parents and family, when we should instead be looking at the END of the passage. The main point of this passage obviously isn't "thou shalt hate thine mother and father", because we are told in the previous two to honor and obey.We look to the end of the passage, where we are told that if we love father or mother more than Him, we are not worthy of Him. An easier way is to look at the inverse; if we love Him more than our father and mother, then we ARE worthy of Him.

The point of the study was that we are to love our father and mother, but not to the point of idolatry, that we are to obey our father and mother, but not to the point of disobeying God, but most of all, we learn that no matter what happens, God is to be the center of our lives and our hearts.

The church

Did you notice my title? It doesn't say "a church" or "my church" or, well you get the point. The church isn't about buildings and it isn't about denominations. Anyone who is a Christian is a part of THE church.

Often, we squabble over minute bits of doctrine and microscopic theological beliefs when really we should be encouraging each other through fellowship and love. I'm not saying we should ignore theological differences; for example, if a "church" believes that you can get to heaven without Christ, I might be a little suspicious about the soundness of their beliefs. (by "a little" I really mean "a lot") Another example, believer baptism versus infant baptism. Should we be baptised soon after birth, or after we have some firm footing in the church? I lean more toward believer baptism but, just because someone else believes in infant baptism doesn't make them any less a Christian than me, or any less a part of the church. If somebody believes that no-one is a Christian until they're baptised, that I would be skeptical about. My point is this: unless the person/church involved doesn't add to the Bible, ignore the Bible, erase from the Bible, or in any other way deface or disobey God's word and teachings, they should be alright.

One of the main problems with us Christians today is that we're much more ready to debate theology then to evangelise and build God's kingdom. We need to stop, look at ourselves, and re-focus on God instead of the speck in our brother's eye.

Think about this...

This is just for fun, if you couldn't tell.

One dark day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other
The deaf policeman heard the noise, came and killed the two dead boys
If you don't believe my tale is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too

And furthermore...

It was midnight on the ocean, not a streetcar was in sight
The sun was shining brightly and it rained all day that night
It was a summer's day in winter and the rain was snowing fast
A barefoot boy with shoes on stood sitting in the grass
While the organ pealed potatoes, lard was rendered by the choir
The sextant rang a dishcloth, someone set the church on fire
"Holy Smokes!" the preacher shouted, in the rain he lost his hair
Now his head resembles heaven for there is no parting there

I just couldn't resist, hope you enjoyed them.

Deutsch

On a lighter note, I recently received an e-mail from my dad containing the following:


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Love your neighbor

I just started on a new book the other day called "Under the Overpass" by Mike Yankoski. After reading the first two chapters, I started thinking. The whole book is basically a journal of Mike and his friend. You'll have to read the book to get the entirety of the background, but basically, he attended a Bible college, went to Church, all that good stuff, when he realised that he wasn't doing anything. Sure, he was going to college, had a job, etc, but he wasn't doing anything to further God's kingdom. So he got this crazy idea and everybody he talked to agreed with it.

Some time later, laying in his cot at the homeless shelter, he wasn't so sure, but gradually, he was able to reach the homeless, addicted, and downtrodden in their own way. He took the phrase "be in the world but not of the world" pretty seriously. After a month in the shelter, he was ready to leave and start his real journey. This is about as far as I've gotten so far, but you can see where it's going. When asked who our "neighbor" was, Jesus replied in the parable of the good Samaritan. Now, Samaritans weren't exactly cherished by the Jews. In fact, "hated" muight be a better word, and the feeling was pretty mutual. But in this story, after being passed by the respected Jewish leaders, the man (who had been beaten and robbed, in case you don't know the story) was rescued by the Samaritan. He bathed his wounds, put him up at an inn, and basically gave the guy his life back. Most Christians today say that we love our neighbor. However, ask the same people who say that when the last time they worked in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter was. You can guess the answer. What most of us really MEAN when we say "I love my neighbor" is "I tolerate my neighbor most of the time if he isn't too gross". This is definitely not a Christ-like attitude.

We need to show God's love through our actions. Going up to someone who has no home, food, or money, and telling them "when you die you're gonna go to hell" probably isn't the best way to evangelise. However, rather than telling these suffering souls that when they die they're going to suffer even more, tell them of a place where hunger and thirst are gone, where no tear is shed, where we will be filled with joy and comfort for eternity. For those who are suffering, who have no hope, give them hope and comfort. Taking away confidence in earthly things is a lot more effective on those who HAVE earthly things in the first place.

What most people don't realize is how hard it is to give up an addiction. The only people who realize fully are those who have an addiction. Most of the time, in the instance of a drug addiction, the rehab does no good. Oh, sure they don't need the drugs, but when the drugs are gone they have nothing, forcing them right back to the drugs. When someone has been an addict for most of their life, it's not just an addiction anymore. It becomes a lifestyle. The book takes an idea from the movie The Shawshank redemption.

"One of the prisoners, "Red" as he's called, says that men who have been in prison for a long period of time become "institutionalized"-unable to function in the normal world. They didn't know anything other than a life of crime or drugs before they entered prison. Then once inside, they become dependent on the structure that prison provides. Once they're out, they're set up to land right back in prison because they were never truly free."

He goes on to talk about the structure in drug addicted lives and how they need something to fll in the hole. We need to help fill in that hole, that empty vacuum that nothing but Christ can satisfy, we need to spread the news; you can be satisfied, you can be whole, just come to Christ.

A couple years ago, my youth group went on a missions trip to Hamilton, Ontario (that's in Canada). We did volunteer work, helped at kitchens and homeless shelters, talked with the homeless there. They were really glad to see young people actually caring about someone else. It was amzing the hope brought into their lives just because a couple of gangly teenagers came and talked with them. I thought I understood homelessness then, and in a way I did. I understood homelessness; unfortunately I didn't understand what it was like to BE homeless. After reading part of this book, I understand it more, yet reading a book, or even "being" homeless like Mike won't show the truth of what it's like. Mike has the chance whenever he wants to leave the streets and pick up where he left off. The majority of people on the streets don't have that option. They have no earthly store. They need Heavenly treasure, and Godly love. Show compassion on others, and truly love your neighbor. Reflect Christ for those who have nothing, that's what I'm trying to say.