Two Dollar Bill

Here's a funny story my dad forwarded to me:

The $2 Bill. Everyone should start carrying them! I am STILL laughing!! I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger generation doesn't know they exist.

STORY: On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go"
Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"
Me: "No, it's to go."
At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."
He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:
Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
Manager: "No. A what?"
Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill."
Server: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and says, "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
Server: "I don't know."
Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"
Server: "Yeah."
Me: "So, why won't you take it?"
Server: "Well, hang on a sec."
He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to take it."
Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change"
Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."
Server: "What should I do?"
Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."
Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."
Manager: "Just tell him."
Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."
The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night."
Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."
Manager: "We don't take those, either."
Me: "Why not?"
Manager: "I think you know why."
Me: "No, really, tell me why."
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "What on earth for?"
Manager: "Please, sir."
Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
Me: "No."
Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then."
Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"
At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.
Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
Manager (whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money."
Guard: "No kidding! What?"
Manager: "Get this... A two dollar bill."
Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"
Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"
Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."
Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"
Manager:"I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
Guard: "Yeah."
Security Guard walks over to me and......
Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
Me: "Uh, no."
Guard: "Lemme see 'em."
Me: "Why?"
Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"
At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat, so I say, "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, "Hey, Mike, what's wrong with thisbill?"
Manager: "It's fake."
Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."
Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."
Guard: "Yeah?"
Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"
The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too. Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too. Just think...those two will be voting soon....

Some of my favorite quotes

This contains quotes which I have heard from friends or family which I find funny, interesting, etc, it will probably be added to later and maybe even copied to the sidebar, but here's a start. I've actually forgotten the context of some of these, but that makes them funnier. Some of my favorite quotes will not be posted here due to content. (most of these are relatively inside jokes)

"They're a deeper part of my aboveness." -Isaac G.
"I believe my watch is meant for my wrist, not your toes." -David A. to Isaac G.
"I like 'ism's" -David A.
"philosophical (pronounced fil-AHS-uh-fic-al) -Mom
"I was a variable in my last life." also "I was an egyptian goddess in my last life." -Isaac G.
"Euctalipless leaves" -Bethie (me sis)
"Yours is Punkinheads" -Mom
"I put the dog down up." -Josh (me bro)
"I don't speak.... whatever that is." -Chris V.

Conversations...

[David says something smart]
"David, you're a logophile" -Mom
"I'm a logophobe." -me
"I'm a phogolobe" -Isaac G.

[Mom says something wrong]
"Mom has a pronationunci plobrem" -me
"She put the wrong emphasis (em-FAH-sis) on the wrong syllable (sih-LAH-bul)" -David A.
"Or maybe the right emphasis (em-fah-SIS) on the wrong syllable (sih-luh-BUL)" -me
"Oh, shut up and let me say it right." (something along those lines) -Mom

Add-on story

Alright, before we get started, I'm going to set a few rules. All comments (add-ons) should be between one sentence and one paragraph long, with a few exceptions if absolutely necessary. If you do not want your sentence to be added to, please end it with a period, exclamation point, or question mark. Also, no overly disgusting content; try to keep it pg. Hopefully this will be fun.


Nobody likes me thought Billy as he walked down the sidewalk outside his school. His horrible teacher had just given him an assignment to teach the class next week. Then he saw something very strange in the playground. He squinted, trying to make it out...

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The Simple Story of George Washington

This post is once again drawing for support on Mark Twain's Library of Humor. Some of these are funny, whereas some of these are hilarious, and it's hard to share the funny ones because they are so long. The hilarious ones are of similar length, therefore I find myself sharing the somewhat humorous ones, of which a few are short.

Only yesterday, a lady friend on a shopping excursion left her little tid toddler of five bright summers in our experienced charge, while she pursued the duties which called her down-town. Such a bright boy; so delightful it was to talk to him! We can never forget the blissful half-hour we spent looking that prodigy up in his centennial history
Now listen, Clary,” we said ─his name is Clarence Fitzherbert Alençon de Marchemont Caruthers ─“and learn about George Washington.”
“Who’s he?” inquired Clarence, etc.
“Listen we said; “he was the father of his country.”
“Whose country?”
“Ours, yours and mine ─the confederated union of the American people, cemented with the life blood of the men of ’76, poured out upon the altars of our country as the dearest libation to liberty that her votaries can offer!”
“Who did?” asked Clarence.
There is a peculiar tact in talking to children that very few people possess. Now most people would have grown impatient and lost their temper when little Clarence asked so many irrelevant questions, but we did not. We knew, however careless he might appear at first, that we would soon interest him in the story, and he would be all eyes and ears. So we smiled sweetly ─that same sweet smile which you may have noticed on our photographs, just the faintest ripple of a smile breaking across the face like a ray of sunlight, and checked by lines of tender sadness, just before the two ends of it pass each other at the back of the neck.
And so, smiling, we went on.
“Well, one day George’s father─”
“George who?” asked Clarence.
“George Washington. He was a little boy then, just like you. One day his father─”
“Whose father?” demanded Clarence with an encouraging expression of interest.
“George Washington’s; this great man we were telling you of. One day George Washington’s father gave him a little hatchet for a─”
“gave who a little hatchet?” the dear child interrupted, with a gleam of bewitching intelligence. Most men would have got mad, or betrayed signs of impatience, but we didn’t. We know how to talk to children. So we went on:
“George Washington. His─”
“Who gave him the little hatchet?”
“His father. And his father─”
“Whose father?”
“George Washington’s.”
“Oh!”
“Yes, George Washington. And his father told him─”
“Told who?”
“Told George.”
“Oh yes, George.”
And we went on just as patient and as pleasant as you could imagine. We took up the story right where the boy interrupted, for we could see that he was just crazy to hear the end of it. We said:
“And he told him that─”
“George told him?” queried Clarence.
“No, his father told George─”
“Oh!”
“Yes; with the hatchet, and not cut himself with it, or drop it in the cistern, or leave it out on the grass all night. So George went round cutting everything he could reach with his hatchet. And at last he came to a splendid apple-tree, his father’s favorite, and cut it down, and─”
“Who cut it down?”
“George did.”
“Oh!”
“But his father came home and saw it the first thing, and─”
“Saw the hatchet?”
“No! saw the apple tree. And he said ‘Who has cut down my favorite apple-tree?”
“Whose apple tree?”
“George’s father’s. And everybody said that they didn’t know anything about it, and─”
“Anything about what?”
“The apple-tree.”
“Oh!”
“And George came up and heard them talking about it─”
“Heard who talking about it?”
“Heard the father and the men.”
“What was they talking about?”
“About this apple-tree.”
“What apple tree?”
“The favorite apple tree that George cut down.”
“George who?”
“George Washington.”
“Oh!”
“So George came up, and he said, ‘Father, I cannot tell a lie. It was─’”
“His father couldn’t?”
“Why, no, George couldn’t.”
“Oh! George? Oh yes!”
“‘It was I cut down your apple-tree; I did─’”
“His father did?”
“No, no, no; said he cut down his apple-tree.”
“George’s apple tree?”
“No, his father’s.”
“Oh!”
“He said─”
“His father said?”
“No, no, no; George said ‘Father, I cannot tell a lie. I did it with my little hatchet.’ And his father said: ‘Noble boy, I would rather lose a thousand trees than have you tell a lie.’
“George did?”
“No, his father said that.”
“Said he’d rather have a thousand trees?”
“No, no, no; said he’d rather lose a thousand apple-trees than─”
“Said he’d rather George would?”
“No; said he’d rather he would than have him lie.”
“Oh! George would rather have his father lie?”
We are patient, and we love children, but if Mrs. Caruthers, of Arch Street, hadn’t come and got her prodigy at that critical juncture, we don’t believe all Burlington could have pulled us out of the snarl. And as Clarence Fitzherbert Alençon de Marchemont Caruthers pattered down the stairs, we heard him telling his ma about a boy who had a father named George, and he told him to cut an apple-tree, and he said he’d rather tell a thousand lies than cut down one apple-tree. We do love children, but we don’t believe that either nature or education has fitted us to be a governess.

I thought that mothers of small children would appreciate this one, including my own. I have heard several times a conversation of the following kind, "(name) did this, Now who did it?" "I don't know" "(name) did this, Now who did it?" "I don't know" etc.

Tushmaker's Toothpuller

This is a short story by George H Derby, which I would like to share with you.

Dr. Tushmaker was never regularly bred as a physician or surgeon, but he possessed naturally a strong mechanical genius and a fine appetite; and finding his teeth of great service in gratifying the latter propensity, he concluded that he could do more good in the world, and create more real happiness therein, by putting the teeth of its inhabitants in good order, than in any other way; so Tushmaker became a dentist. He was the man that first invented the method of placing small cog-wheels in the back teeth for the more perfect mastication of food, and he claimed to be the original discoverer of that method of filling cavities with a kind of putty, which, becoming hard directly, causes the tooth to ache so grievously that it has to be pulled, thereby giving the dentist two successive fees for the same job. Tushmaker was one day seated in his office, in the city of Boston, Massachusettes, when a stout old fellow, named Byles, presented himself to have a back tooth drawn. The dentist seated his patient in the chair of torture, and, opening his mouth, discovered there an enormous tooth, on the right hand side, about as large, as he afterwards expressed it, "as a small Polyglot Bible." I shall have trouble with this tooth, thought Tushmaker, but he clapped on his heaviest forceps, and pulled. It didn't come. Then he tried the turn-screw, exerting his utmost strength, but the tooth wouldn't stir. "Go away from here," said Tushmaker to Byles, "and return in a week, and I'll draw that tooth for you, or know the reason why." Byles got up, clapped a handkerchief to his jaw, and put forth. Then the dentist went to work, and in three days, he invented an instrument which he was confident would pull anything. It was a combination of the lever, pully, wheel and axle, inclined plane, wedge, and screw. The castings were made, and the machine put up in the office, over an iron chair rendered perfectly stationary by iron rods going down into the foundations of the granite building. In a week old Byles returned; he was clamped into the iron chair, the forceps connected with the machine attached firmly to the tooth, and Tushmaker, stationing himself in the rear, took hold of a lever four feet in length. He turned it slightly. Old Byles gave a groan and lifted his right leg. Another turn; another groan, and up went the right leg again. "What do you raise your leg for?" asked the doctor. " I can't help it," said the patient. "Well," rejoined Tushmaker, "that tooth is bound to come out now."

He turned the lever clear round with a sudden jerk, and snapped old Byles's head clean and clear from his shoulders, leaving a space of four inches between the severed parts! They had a post-mortem examination- the roots of the tooth were found extending down the right side, through the right leg, and turning up in two prongs under the sole of the right foot! "No wonder," said Tushmaker, "he raised his right leg." The jury thought so too, but they found the roots much decayed; and five surgeons swearing that mortification would have ensued in a few months, Tushmaker was cleared on a verdict of "justifiable homicide." He was a little shy of that instrument for some time afterward; but one day an old lady, feeble and flaccid, came in to have a tooth drawn, and thinking it would come out very easy, Tushmaker concluded, just by way of variety, to try the machine. He did so, and at the first turn drew the old lady's skeleton completely and entirely from her body, leaving her a mass of quivering jelly in her chair! Tushmaker took her home in a pillowcase. She lived seven years after that, and they called her the "India-Rubber Woman." She had suffered terribly with the rheumatism, but after this occurence, never had a pain in her bones. The dentist kept them in a glass case. After this, the machine was sold to the contractor of the Boston Custom-House, and it was found that a child of three years of age could, by a single turn of the screw, raise a stone weighing twenty-three tons. Smaller ones were made on the same principle, and sold to the keepers of hotels and restaurants. They were used for boning turkies. There is no moral to this story whatever, and it is possible that the circumstances may have become slightly exaggerated. Of course, there can be no doubt of the truth of the main incidents.

I found this in a book which I received for Christmas, titled "Mark Twain's Library of Humor." It is a very funny selection of short stories by various authors, including Twain himself. I highly reccomend it to those who have warped senses of humor (such as myself).

Coffee

I recently received this in e-mail form and found it to be interesting.

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got
together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon
turned Into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his
guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a
large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic,
glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite -
telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the
professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups
were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is
normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source
of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no
quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in
some cases, even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was
coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And
then you began eyeing each other's cups.

"Now consider this...
--Life is the coffee
--The jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They
are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have
does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by
concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has
provided us."

God brews the coffee, not the cups..........Enjoy your coffee!

"The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make
the best of everything."

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest
to GOD.

Girls?

Alright, some of you are going to get mad at me, but this is just a joke so don't take it too seriously.

Everybody knows that girls require time and money.

Girls=time*money

We also know that time is money.

time=money

Therefore,

Girls=money^2

If money is the root of all evil (as is often misquoted),

money=evil^1/2 (square root of evil)

(evil^1/2)^2=evil

thus, girls=evil.

By the way, I think this works better when you replace "girls" with "mom". I'm gonna get slapped for that one.

Jokes

Here are a few excerpts from the result of a scientific study of jokes. You can find some more of the material at the site here.

After much careful scrutiny, we are proud to announce our winning joke. This joke received higher ratings than any other gag.
Drum roll…..

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"


In second place came the joke that was leading the pack when we announced our preliminary results in December:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent"


Here are some of the top jokes in different countries:

Top joke in UK

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

Top joke in USA

The American data proved to be somewhat strange. Dave Barry is a well known humourist whose columns are syndicated in many American newspapers. In January 2002 he kindly devoted an entire column to LaughLab. At the end of the column he urged readers to submit jokes that simply ended with the punch line:
‘There's a weasel chomping on my privates.’

Within just a few days we had received over 1500 ‘weasel chomping’ jokes.

One weasel joke scored very highly in the USA and almost became the funniest joke in America. Here it is:

At the parade, the Colonel noticed something unusual going on and asked the Major: “Major Barry, what the devil's wrong with Sergeant Jones’ platoon? They seem to be all twitching and jumping about.”
“Well sir,” says Major Barry after a moment of observation. “There seems to be a weasel chomping on his privates.”

However, ignoring the weasels, the top American joke was…

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Top joke in Canada

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

Top joke in Australia

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”

Top joke in Belgium

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Top joke in Germany

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.”


A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said "its no good trying to outrun it, its catching up". The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied " I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to out run you"!


We also asked participants from the UK to tell us whether they were from Wales, Scotland, England or Northern Ireland. Our data has revealed that the Welsh found the jokes funniest, followed by the English, then people from Northern Ireland and then the Scots.

Here are the top jokes from the regions.

Top Joke in England

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other says, "Go home dad you’re drunk."

Top Joke in Wales

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."

Top Joke in Scotland

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

Top Joke in Northern Ireland

A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.

If you know a really good joke, please tell it, as some of the above are really not that funny.

P.S. If somebody knows how to put a song in a post or some doodad similar to the afore-mentioned gadget of audio-ness the afore posting person would be much obliged to said providing party. (The author of this blog has recently realized how fun 'tis to speak in starnge terms and/or sentecne structure such as some previous sentence(s) has done)

Think about this...

This is just for fun, if you couldn't tell.

One dark day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other
The deaf policeman heard the noise, came and killed the two dead boys
If you don't believe my tale is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too

And furthermore...

It was midnight on the ocean, not a streetcar was in sight
The sun was shining brightly and it rained all day that night
It was a summer's day in winter and the rain was snowing fast
A barefoot boy with shoes on stood sitting in the grass
While the organ pealed potatoes, lard was rendered by the choir
The sextant rang a dishcloth, someone set the church on fire
"Holy Smokes!" the preacher shouted, in the rain he lost his hair
Now his head resembles heaven for there is no parting there

I just couldn't resist, hope you enjoyed them.

Deutsch

On a lighter note, I recently received an e-mail from my dad containing the following:


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Extraordinary terminology

Large terms are humorous. They can be incredibly problematical to comprehend occasionally but typically they merely cause you to seem intelligent. I prefer appearing brainy rather than unintelligent, consequently I am employing gargantuan expressions in the hope that I might perhaps give the impression of being clever. In any case, that is what this particular post is about since I could not think of anything else. In any case, despite my suspected inebriation, I hope you take pleasure in my ludicrous vocabulary and disgraceful (not to mention pitiful) topic.